Agathe Breton : « On n’est pas victime à vie »

Analyses / lundi, mai 28th, 2018

À 22 ans, Agathe Breton est assistante de service social à l’association La Pause à Valenciennes. Pendant ses études, elle a profité d’un stage de six mois au Canada pour se spécialiser dans les violences conjugales et leur prévention.

Pendant sa première année d’études à l’Institut régional du travail social (IRTS) de Valenciennes en 2014, Agathe Breton effectue un stage obligatoire de six semaines au sein du Service social en faveur des élèves (SSFE), qui existe dans tous les établissements scolaires publics du secondaire. Elle travaille alors dans un collège et dans un lycée. Un jour, elle se retrouve à accompagner un jeune qui venait de déménager :  sa mère avait dû fuir son conjoint violent. « Je me suis interrogée, parce que je ne savais pas trop comment on allait accompagner cet enfant qui avait été exposé aux violences conjugales. Le stage était très court et je n’ai pas pu voir la suite de l’accompagnement. » Agathe reste sur sa faim.

Agathe Breton – archive personnelle

En 2015, en deuxième année, elle a la possibilité d’effectuer un stage de six mois à l’étranger. Elle décide de s’intéresser plus en détails à la problématique des violences conjugales, qu’elle estime n’avoir pas assez traitée. L’idée de partir six mois au Québec sonne alors comme une évidence : « En travail social, les Québécois sont vraiment en avance par rapport aux Français. » Agathe combine alors les deux : le Canada et la thématique des violences conjugales, en trouvant un stage dans une maison d’hébergement pour femmes et enfants victimes. Elle part de septembre 2015 à mars 2016.

Un déclic professionnel et personnel

Son arrivée au sein de l’association La Bouée à Lac-Mégantic (Québec) est un « vrai déclic ». Habituée à être plongée dans le grand bain dès le début de ses stages en France, Agathe se retrouve un peu perdue. Son premier mois de stage, elle le passe enfermée dans des bureaux « à étudier la violence et à ne voir personne. Il y avait des femmes accueillies, mais je ne les voyais pas vraiment. Je ne participais qu’aux activités collectives. » Elle ne suivait pas partout sa référente de stage, comme cela pouvait être le cas en France : « L’objectif de l’association, c’était que je comprenne vraiment le sens de la violence, ses problématiques, comment on la repère, comment on la comprend et quelles en sont les conséquences. »

À force de se renseigner, Agathe Breton réalise que « quelque chose vient la chercher ». Elle discute avec des femmes accueillies par La Bouée, une révélation pour la jeune femme : « Quand je les ai vues, que j’ai entendu leurs discours, ça a fait remonter des émotions, et je me suis dit, là, il y a quelque chose qui ne va pas. Je dois en parler. » Elle se livre à sa référente de stage, qui lui confirme qu’elle a vécu des violences conjugales : « Ça a répondu à toutes les questions que je me posais depuis tant d’années. Il a fallu que je parte au Canada pour me rendre compte que j’avais vécu de la violence. »

Agathe avait 17 ans, son copain de l’époque, 18. C’était sa « première vraie relation ». Agathe a vécu des violences psychologiques : « C’était surtout du contrôle. » À l’époque, elle avait du mal à dire non « quand il [lui] demandait de ne pas aller à une soirée parce qu’il y avait un mec en particulier, [elle] ne [savait] pas ce que c’était. [Elle pensait] qu’il était juste jaloux et possessif, et [qu’il [l’aimait] juste tellement qu’il [la] voulait juste pour lui. Finalement, c’était bien plus que ça. » Elle a 17 ans quand elle est victime et 20 ans quand elle s’en rend compte : « Pour moi, ce n’était pas possible d’imaginer que d’autres jeunes puissent vivre la même chose sans le savoir. »

“Ce n’était pas pour me réparer, mais une manière pour moi de me dire qu’il fallait faire quelque chose.”

Une situation compliquée à imaginer, qui l’a poussée à se concentrer sur la prévention des violences conjugales chez les jeunes : « Ce n’était pas ma thérapie, ce n’était pas pour me réparer. C’était vraiment une manière pour moi de me dire, ‘il faut vraiment qu’on fasse quelque chose.’ » D’abord, Agathe traite de cette problématique au Canada, avant de se consacrer à la prévention. Elle considère que « l’idée qu’on accompagne les victimes, les auteurs et les enfants, c’est bien, mais si on est capable de pointer un problème, il faut aller en chercher la source. »Orientée sur deux grands axes, la prévention est essentielle. D’abord celle auprès des jeunes, en leur expliquant les différentes formes de violences « pour vraiment mettre des mots sur des actes ». Mais aussi celle auprès des professionnels, « pour les former à pouvoir repérer les violences conjugales. Dans les écoles, il y a aussi les profs, les parents et l’entourage des élèves qui peuvent déceler les comportements violents ». Pendant son stage, elle intervient dans des écoles au Québec, avec des ateliers pour sensibiliser aux violences conjugales. Elle participe aussi à des conférences.

En France, difficile d’imaginer qu’on puisse être victime et professionnel

Dans l’Hexagone, il est parfois difficile de concevoir qu’une victime puisse utiliser son vécu pour aider les autres : « Dans le domaine des violences conjugales, soit tu es un professionnel, soit tu es de l’autre côté de la barrière. Alors qu’au Canada, justement, on considère que comme tu as traversé les violences conjugales, tu es encore plus en capacité de comprendre. »

En novembre 2017, Agathe est retournée au Canada dans le cadre d’un colloque. Elle y a animé sa propre conférence sur l’importance de la prévention dans les violences conjugales, en expliquant que cette violence existe aussi chez les jeunes. « Parce qu’on ne l’imagine pas forcément. » Elle a basé sa conférence sur son témoignage personnel, « pour illustrer le fait qu’on peut s’en sortir. Beaucoup de personnes pensent qu’on peut rester victime à vie. Moi, je ne me considère pas comme victime. »

À la fin de son CDD à l’association La Pause de Valenciennes, Agathe Breton va repartir trois mois au Canada, d’août à octobre 2018, au sein de l’association La Bouée. Elle va y continuer son travail de prévention dans les écoles québécoises : « L’idée, c’est vraiment de recréer différents ateliers, d’aller dans les écoles sur un secteur beaucoup plus large. On veut développer le projet pour sensibiliser davantage. » En 2019, si le diplôme universitaire (DU) sur les violences conjugales de l’Université de Lille Droit et Santé est reconduit, elle y participera : « J’ai peut-être l’expérience du terrain, mais ce diplôme me permettrait de l’avoir sur le CV et de valoriser ce que je sais plus ou moins déjà. » Le but ? Valoriser ses connaissances et sa spécialité.

Camille BRONCHART

 

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