Tous les jeudis, l’association Louise Michel organise Les Jeudis de Louise, des rendez-vous thématiques sur le bien-être destinés à des femmes en grande précarité. Parmi elles, des victimes de violences conjugales. Elles racontent en quoi l’association les a aidées à reprendre pied.
« J’ai failli ne pas avoir ma journée, raconte Carole, les yeux rieurs derrière ses lunettes rectangulaires. C’est une bouffée d’air quand je viens ici ». Elles sont huit autour de la table, certaines marquées par les violences conjugales, d’autres non. L’association les aide peu à peu à reprendre confiance en elles, en les suivant sur le long terme.
Les groupes de paroles, les rendez-vous avec le psychologue ou les sorties, ensemble, infusent lentement. « J’espère qu’en moi, il y a encore une part de résilience, se demande Amélie*. Ces ateliers, petit à petit, ça aide. » Toutes se retrouvent ce jeudi après-midi pour échanger autour de leur alimentation, encadrées par une diététicienne, Stéphanie Dumont-Roussel.
Apports en calcium, en énergie, portions alimentaires nécessaires : pour débuter, Stéphanie établit les règles. La diététicienne reprend, explique, rassure, et rappelle les bases de l’alimentation. « Les protéines, vous savez à quoi ça sert ? » « C’est pour le muscle, l’énergie… », tente Marie, dont la petite taille tranche avec la voix forte. « C’est utile de revoir les bases. L’énergie va venir des féculents, corrige la diététicienne. Ça va servir à construire vos muscles ».
Au bout d’une heure, la question des violences conjugales n’a pas encore été abordée. Jusqu’à ce que le thème du plaisir ne libère la parole. « Le plaisir immédiat, c’est le sucre », affirme Diane*. Carole, qui n’avait pas parlé depuis le début, se lance : « Avec le passé qu’on a vécu… Moi je m’en suis sortie, j’ai quitté ce monsieur, c’est la notion de plaisir et d’émotion qui compte. Je me disais “Comment il va être quand je vais rentrer ce soir…” J’avais d’autres préoccupations et maintenant je me fais plaisir. ». Tout le monde attend qu’elle finisse son récit, sans l’interrompre.
La diététicienne rebondit sur la notion de culpabilité. Bien se nourrir, c’est d’abord apprendre à écouter son corps, défend-elle. « Mais comment écouter un corps qui a été chamboulé ? », demande Marie. La professionnelle reconnaît qu’en fonction de leur histoire, le rapport au corps sera nécessairement différent. « Dans le viol, forcément, la personne se déconnecte, explique-t-elle. C’est difficile de le sentir puisque cela veut dire sentir son corps, et le traumatisme ». Pour y pallier, elle demande aux femmes présentes d’être moins dures avec elles-mêmes. « Apprenez à être douces avec vous-mêmes ».
S’imaginer une autre vie
Autre lieu, autre groupe. Les femmes accueillies à Louise Michel vont visiter un appartement pédagogique, à Roubaix. Leur but : apprendre à consommer moins d’énergie, donc dépenser moins d’argent. Dans le métro, le petit groupe discute et apprend à se connaître. Amélie*, victime de violences psychologiques par son mari, tient à montrer qu’elle mène une vie normale : « Vous voyez qu’on sort, qu’on se retrouve entre nous, qu’on rit… » Sabrina*, elle, refuse de s’enfermer dans le rôle de « victime ». « Je ne suis pas une femme battue. Moi, mon mari, si je le vois, je lui fous une claque ! », lance-t-elle.
Elles sont accompagnées par Sophie Leclercq, conseillère en économie sociale et solidaire. « Aujourd’hui les femmes ont souvent des factures de plus en plus importantes, explique-t-elle. L’objectif est financier, c’est de mieux consommer. »
Dans l’appartement-test, Olivier distribue conseils et stratégies. « On conseille de prendre un micro-ondes sans affichage électronique, à cause des diodes, des veilleuses… ». Entre la bouilloire électrique et la casserole, privilégier la bouilloire ; pour la vaisselle, utiliser un bac plutôt que laisser couler l’eau. « On ne se rend pas compte qu’on fait couler l’eau plus que nécessaire », estime-t-il. Face à lui, le groupe de femmes l’interroge et prend des notes scrupuleusement. Sabrina se voit déjà dans le grand appartement : « Imaginez-vous la cuisine équipée… »
« On accompagne toutes les personnes qui ont des difficultés ou des problèmes sociaux », explique Céline Thery, assistante sociale à Louise Michel. Celles ayant subi des violences conjugales ont été reçues seules, sans conjoint. « Ce sont des femmes qui ont besoin d’un accompagnement social. » Pour certaines, le traumatisme dure depuis des années.
Une reconstruction étape par étape
Marie vient de la Réunion et est installée en métropole depuis 1978. Elle n’acceptera pas un long entretien, par peur qu’on la reconnaisse, mais elle est prête à témoigner. « Les violences conjugales en outre-mer, il faut en parler », assure-t-elle d’une voix ferme.
A la Réunion, Marie a subi les violences de son mari, médecin. Pour s’en défaire, elle s’est d’abord tournée vers un autre professionnel de santé. « Le médecin, c’est la première personne avec qui tu vas parler, explique-t-elle. J’ai regretté de le voir, il m’a dit “Vous n’êtes pas morte, vous vous rendez compte ?” » Comme si dans son malheur, elle avait eu de la chance.
Marie décide alors de partir. Mais une fois en métropole, elle endure la condescendance des soignants supposés l’aider. « Ça peut partir de plein de petites choses simples, comme l’hygiène. Quand tu es accueillie, c’est avec plein de misérabilisme. On me disait : “Madame n’oubliez pas, il faut rester propre”. » Les questions du personnel de santé et leur manque de pudeur lui ont laissé un goût amer. « A quel moment il vous a frappée, combien de fois ? », détaille-t-elle.
Quarante-et-un ans après son arrivée, Marie n’est toujours pas sûre d’avoir fait le bon choix. « Si je pouvais revenir en arrière, je préfèrerais peut-être mourir. » Encore aujourd’hui, elle peine à avoir une bonne opinion d’elle-même. « Il y a des temps de bonheur mais je ne peux pas me dire “oui, c’est bien”.» Marie a développé une peur de la foule, et du contact avec les inconnus. « A l’atelier “conseil en image” [organisé par Louise Michel], je n’ai pas voulu que la dame me touche », se rappelle-t-elle.
« Des fois ça ne sert à rien d’aller vite, estime Sophie Leclercq. Il y a des étapes, chacune d’entre elles a son importance. » Même si le temps peut paraître long : « Cela fait des années que je vais doucement… », souffle Patricia, qui vient à Louise Michel depuis le début de l’année.
« Moi, mes rendez-vous, ce sont des rendez-vous médicaux »
Un autre jeudi, un groupe de Louise Michel assiste à la projection des Invisibles, un film sur des femmes sans-abri qui tentent de retrouver un métier malgré le harcèlement de l’administration. Le film est un succès, qui leur rappelle des souvenirs : « Quand j’étais indépendante, j’allais voir deux films de suite », raconte Amélie. Pour elle, Louise Michel est un point de repère. Plus qu’une association, c’est un moyen pour renouer des contacts, sortir, retrouver un cadre. Un moment pour elle, aussi. « Les ateliers me permettent de souffler. Moi, mes rendez-vous, ce sont des rendez-vous médicaux. »
Amélie se rend à Louise Michel aussi souvent que possible. Pour autant, il est compliqué pour elle de se lier d’amitié avec les autres femmes. « Il y a des personnes avec qui il y a déjà eu des confidences, mais je ne peux pas dire que ce sont des amies. » Elle s’est récemment rapprochée de Delphine, pour qui Louise Michel est aussi très importante. « C’est par l’association Louise Michel que j’ai pu commencer à me reconstruire, raconte Delphine, victime de violences sexuelles. Ce n’était pas ma démarche d’aller dans cette association-là. »
Louise Michel ne peut pas aider Amélie dans ses démarches juridiques, car elle n’est pas encore prête à divorcer. « Je repousse l’échéance, admet-elle. A l’époque où j’ai connu mon mari, j’avais des prétendants, j’avais confiance en moi. Aujourd’hui, je suis encore plus une proie. »
Au-delà de Louise Michel, Amélie demande que les pouvoirs publics protègent davantage les victimes de violences conjugales, notamment de leur conjoint. Par peur des représailles, la jeune femme n’ose toujours pas quitter le sien : « Le jour où je le quitte, je vais peut-être finir en fauteuil roulant. On n’est pas protégées par notre justice. On a besoin d’aide, avant, pendant, et après [les violences conjugales].»
Louis DE BRIANT
Illustration : Yacine Zehani
*Les prénoms ont été changés
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