Sonia Laffargue co-préside l’association Le Monde à travers un regard qui organise des groupes de paroles pour les personnes victimes d’inceste, notamment autour de la difficulté à devenir parent. Elle même a perdu trois enfants pendant ses grossesses, une impossibilité à devenir mère qu’elle relie au traumatisme de l’inceste qu’elle a subi pendant des années.
Qu’est-ce qui dans votre histoire personnelle vous a poussé à vous engager auprès de victimes d’inceste ?
J’étais une enfant de la DDASS, j’ai été victime du mari de ma mère adoptive, que j’avais pris pour père. Il m’a violé de mes 9 à mes 17 ans. Et quand j’ai connu mon père biologique, à l’âge de 20 ans, j’ai appris qu’il avait incesté tous ses enfants et ses petits-enfants.
Avec ma grande sœur, on ne s’est parlé qu’à l’âge de 50 ans. C’était tendu entre nous et je lui lance : « Tu n’as pas vécu ce que j’ai vécu ! », elle m’a répondu : « Toi, tu n’as pas vécu ce que j’ai vécu ». C’est ce jour-là, qu’on s’est rendu compte qu’on avait été incesté par la même personne, à la même époque.
Ensuite, j’ai perdu des jumelles à six mois de grossesse, j’étais jeune, j’avais 19 ans, puis, plus tard, j’ai perdu mon garçon à deux mois de grossesse. Le problème était dans ma tête : après ce que j’avais vécu, j’avais si peu d’estime pour moi que je ne pouvais pas donner la vie. La plus belle chose au monde ne m’était pas possible. Mon organisme a sans doute refusé. Mais je ne me le suis dit qu’avec le recul. Sur le moment, je n’ai pas compris pourquoi je les avais perdus. Est-ce que c’est vrai ? Est-ce que ça m’arrange de penser ça ? Je ne sais pas, mais j’ai rencontré des personnes aux histoires similaires avec l’association. Et aujourd’hui, l’association m’apporte énormément.
Les victimes d’inceste deviennent-elles moins souvent parent ?
Dans l’ensemble, il y a plus de femmes et d’hommes qui ont des enfants que ceux qui n’en ont pas. Mais je rencontre beaucoup de personnes qui le disent ouvertement : je n’ai pas eu d’enfant et je sais pourquoi. Il y a les deux : ceux qui décident de ne pas en avoir, parce qu’ils s’en sentent incapables, et d’autres qui aimeraient, mais n’y arrivent pas.
Quelles sont les craintes des futurs parents qui ont été agressés dans leur enfance ?
Je me suis rendue compte que les hommes qui ont été agressés et qui deviennent père, sont terrifiés. Ils sont terrifiés à l’idée de reproduire ce qui s’est passé. Il y a des hommes qui sont très mal à l’idée d’avoir un enfant, qui sont très perturbés par ça.
Cette peur est présente chez les deux sexes, même si c’est beaucoup chez les hommes. La peur de ne pas être capable d’élever l’enfant, de l’aimer comme ils doivent l’aimer, la peur qu’on puisse les accuser de quelque chose, parce qu’ils vont prendre leur fils dans leurs bras, sur leurs genoux.
Est-ce que ça fait d’eux des parents différents ?
Ils sont parents au même titre que quelqu’un qui n’est pas victime, tout est une question de personne. En revanche, les parents qui sont victimes sont beaucoup plus précautionneux, surtout maintenant qu’on en parle. Ils sont très attentifs à dire à leurs enfants que personne ne doit les toucher sans leur consentement, qu’on ne peut pas les obliger à toucher sans leur consentement.
Est-ce que ces victimes devenues parents doivent expliquer à leurs enfants ce qui leur est arrivé ? Par exemple, pourquoi ne voient-ils pas leur grand-père ou leur oncle ?
Ce dernier point est une vraie problématique, surtout lorsque la victime brise le silence après des années, et que, d’un coup, les enfants qui côtoyaient leurs grands-parents, ne les voient plus.
« Il faut casser la chaîne parce que c’est phénomène intergénérationnel »
Oui, je pense qu’il faut l’expliquer aux enfants. Chaque situation est unique, mais il y a toujours un moment où l’enfant l’apprendra d’une manière ou d’une autre, donc je pense que c’est quelque chose qui doit être fait par les parents.
Surtout, il faut casser la chaîne parce que c’est phénomène intergénérationnel. Tant qu’on ne brise pas le silence, c’est un phénomène qui peut se reproduire. Les incesteurs sont souvent d’anciens incestés. On appelle ça l’arbre généalogique de l’inceste. Quand on trouve un enfant qui subit un inceste, il faut remonter à la quatrième génération pour aller casse la corde et ne pas laisser les agresseurs agir.
Propos recueillis par Arthur Bellier
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